Is it necessary to have love and respect in a relationship? I’m beginning to think that maybe its not necessary. But I do think love and respect is required to sustain a relationship. Off lately I have been mulling over a lot of such things mainly because I survived a relationship in the recent past (about 7 years ago) that had no love & definitely no respect.
So what did I do? Well I walked out of it but with a lot of fear, self-esteem issues, feeling like a complete failure. I could muster the courage to walk out only when I realised that there was an imminent threat to my life. I mean when I look back, I feel that I must have been so low in self-esteem to even settle to be in a relationship that had no love, no respect and only walk out when there was a threat to my existence!!!
Ah! When I did walk out, there was support that I found in my family and friends. I owe a lot to my parents, who dealt with me with love, kindness and mercy. Which took me a while to show it all to myself and learn to forgive my self and slowly build my confidence bit by bit.
It has been a long journey since then; it has made me realize a lot of things in the process though. One of the things is that no one is obligated to love and give you respect just because you’re in a relationship.
But the biggest revelation has been this, that having love and mutual respect in a marriage is a true blessing indeed! For those who have it, please do not ask for anything more. And do all it takes to believe in your partner and make it work as long as you both find happiness in your relationship.
By Celin Thomas
Not many are aware of the difficulties of people in this world. As for me, I was indifferent too, till I fell flat on my face just to realize that I’m not as smart as I think I might be. I realized that extent of qualification may get you the tag of being educated and highly qualified but it may not make you aware and wise.
And so now, while I’m few days away from completing my 30 years on this beautiful planet Earth- I’m learning humility, acquiring depth in my personality, becoming more aware and understanding. The journey to self- discovery is never ending. But I have realized one thing that we all got to stop blaming others for our mistakes in this journey that we have embarked upon.
It is important to love oneself, but it also necessary to realize where we went wrong and acquire the strength to forgive ourselves. Because if we don’t forgive ourselves, we will get into the vicious circle of blaming others and even victimizing others especially our loved ones. In this process, we are only hurting ourselves all the more, depriving ourselves from love & affection which is genuine.
Perhaps the world is negative and filled with wrong people. But I have decided to be optimistic and positive. I will pick and choose my battle that I need to wage on my own and fight for what is rightfully mine. As after losing confidence and self-esteem- I realized that this is the only true treasure I ever owned which is far bigger than my qualifications and my work experience. And so I know I will progress and I know I will succeed for I’m the master of my fate, I’m the captain of my soul as its ends in the poetry Invictus by William Ernest Henley.
Perhaps what I’ve written here is unacceptable to many, but then who said fighting for survival is going to be easy and here I’m claiming a bigger goal than survival- I want to Live!!!