An Easy Target

I always wondered what makes women and children an easy target for any kind of bullying and violence. Is it because the society  always assumes that women and children are invariably defenseless; that they wont fight back?

Bullying and domination is a common thing in every society. But I guess we as active or passive members of society have adjusted around the idea of its existence. And or we have failed to address it at its inception or when it needs to be addressed the most. Later when the sheer volume of crimes increase we start making laws which actually puts the victims/ survivors to relive their ordeal once again.

Whether the mass molestation that happened in Bengaluru during New Year’s eve on 31st December 2016 or the cyber bullying of Zaira Wasim (of Dangal movie Fame). Its all attacking women in one way or the other. Its sending a clear message to women folks that well this society doesn’t appreciate you as a successful, happy woman who wears what she likes and hangs out wherever and whenever she likes and also takes her own decisions while being unapologetic about it.

People and society has a skewed perception about the female gender. Our roles and obligations are defined by them and we are to adhere to them. Funnily; we are also judged by those who may have or may not have borne those responsibilities with or without panache or any success.

I at least hope and pray that we women start changing our perception towards each other, rather than looking at these attacks to further push back the emancipation of women. Because like it or not it’ll also have an impact on you later on.

Women need to be emancipated from the current and age old perceptions about their gender, sexuality and stereotyped roles. I think we are tax payers, care givers and care takers, leaders, celebrities, influential, voters, thinkers, politicians, writers, motivators and many more such things. Which makes us important and worthy people and contributors to the society in every way. It is this significance that we need to capitalise on to be emancipated from the shackles of stereotypical gender biases and thinking.

Here again, I urge women to participate in supporting and encouraging each other. No more back stabbing or back biting and or being bitchy. For all those women who are looking to do something about their emancipation, follow this link below.

https://www.facebook.com/pg/iwillgoout/events/?ref=page_internal

Wherever you are join the movement on Saturday 21st January between 5PM-8PM. Join the movement #IWillGoOut. Contact us at: iwillgoout2017@gmail.com

 

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Life after demonetisation

I was in the hospital along with my mother in law (mil) when PM Modi gave his speech on the notes ban on Rs.500 & Rs.1000 denominations. Although it was almost past the dinner time, I didn’t really feel anything at that point. But next day, the breakfast was late and so was the lunch, even for the patients who were meant to get food on a certain time. Interestingly, the coffee vendor the hospital floor was not accepting card, Paytm and or the old notes. Which means I didn’t get coffee that morning.

Ah! Yes I was very irritated and getting restless even. Following week after demonetisation; we ran out of cash to pay our cook and maid. We had to ask for their bank account details which they didn’t know. Sadly since these two ladies who do such a phenomenal job at my place actually depend on cash for all sorts of transactions and save money in nooks and corners of their homes.

My husband and I switched to Paytm and credit cards for transactions. However, our vegetable vendor took a little while to get online. He still doesn’t accept credit cards but has started Paytm service to maintain his loyal customers.

2 weeks after demonetisation, I find myself standing in never ending ques to get cash an also to deposit cash of old denomination. ATMs are running out of cash and suddenly no one seems to have cash at all.

I managed to give salaries to my maid and cook somehow, and was left with no cash at all. I had to consciously change my shopping style and decide to go to places that accept credit or debit cards. I enjoyed this phase a little as it meant no arguments for change and a proper bill  was given to me.

Eventually, cash has started to appear now. However, I’m now heavily dependent on Paytm and plastic money for transactions; even while commuting by taxis. Although all the political parties and the entire nation is in debate on whether this move by our PM has brought the black money and parallel economy to its knees; I feel the sectors which are heavily cash dependent have suffered the most.

The unorganized sector that employs a lot of people has suffered the most. This move of the present government talks about transparency and technology driven transactions. I’m wondering when and how will my maid and cook become tech savvy?

Wondering all the farmers  and people working in small and medium enterprises will change their business workings consciously to be able to survive the tsunami of demonetisation…

Despite the sudden changes in the economic transactions, life seems to be moving slowly and steadily and coming to normalcy. Nobody seems to be revolting, even if many have lots jobs and are struggling to maintain a steady cash flow and also to continue leading a good life.

The real impact of how much black money was coveted through this exercise is yet to be known. Whether this move will bring about any change in the way how black money is transacted in this country, is questionable. If demonetisation will stop funding of terrorist outfits, is another question to be asked?

The timing of demonetisation in this country while many political parties are prepping for elections in UP, Uttarakhand and several other states is also questionable. Since from now on; no party will be able to transact in cash to bring people to attend rallied and also to form any coalitions whatsoever.

This post is a commoner’s view and experience of demonetisation. I’m not an economist or a politician to project or polarise anyone. Do share your experiences and lets educate, enlighten and empower the masses.

Is it necessary to have love and respect in a relationship?

Is it necessary to have love and respect in a relationship? I’m beginning to think that maybe its not necessary. But I do think love and respect is required to sustain a relationship. Off lately I have been mulling over a lot of such things mainly because I survived a relationship in the recent past (about 7 years ago) that had no love & definitely no respect.

So what did I do? Well I walked out of it but with a lot of fear, self-esteem issues, feeling like a complete failure. I could muster the courage to walk out only when I realised that there was an imminent threat to my life. I mean when I look back, I feel that I must have been so low in self-esteem to even settle to be in a relationship that had no love, no respect and only walk out when there was a threat to my existence!!!

Ah! When I did walk out, there was support that I found in my family and friends. I owe a lot to my parents, who dealt with me with love, kindness and mercy. Which took me a while to show it all to myself and learn to forgive my self and slowly build my confidence bit by bit.

It has been a long journey since then; it has made me realize a lot of things in the process though. One of the things is that no one is obligated to love and give you respect just because you’re in a relationship.

But the biggest revelation has been this, that having love and mutual respect in a marriage is a true blessing indeed! For those who have it, please do not ask for anything more. And do all it takes to believe in your partner and make it work as long as you both find happiness in your relationship.