Associations that organise against Women

Outspokenness and liberation of women seems like a distant dream, even today. Please read my previous post here. It amazes me that women who help each and support each other are conspired against.

I believe the famous Malayalam movie actor Dileep is arrested because he used Pulsar Suni to sexually abuse a famed Malayalam movie actress to teach her a lesson.

He wanted to get even with her mainly because she snitched to his ex wife about his affairs and several benaami transactions.

So a woman speaks up and she is taught to fall in line with the harshest means possible. Some men and women simply cannot tolerate a woman who is being just herself. Now I seem to understand why a lot of women are into people pleasing. Because the society just doesn’t accept you for who you are.

The society wants every woman and even children to conform to their imaginary roles. These roles are defined by rules which are strangely unwritten but still followed by almost everybody. Which means if anyone tries to step out of this conformity, they’re bound to be subjected to some kind of treatment or abuse that will ensure they fall in line.

Outspokenness is one thing which conformists do not do. Speaking your mind is a privilege for a few according to many conformists. So who are these few? Actor Dileep? Funny as it may seem. I think outspokenness is also abused greatly by people who have some power or influence over masses and associations.

So whatever the powerful person says or does, everyone in the association sides with them. Again we are dealing with conformity. This conformity is due to fear of the person in power.

So is there a solution? I think there is. Question is- how many are willing to make it happen and or take a stand?

Solution can be that we ensure authority falls in the hands of people who know what good to do with it. It’s the responsibility of the people to question the person in charge all the time.

Power must also fall in hands of those who can take a stand for the greater good. Which also means the person should know what is the difference between good, bad and right & wrong. The person should also have the courage it takes to do all that is right and good.

Too idealistic… Well then I want to know what you have in mind? I would like to know your thoughts.


Living in denial

When a crime happens particularly of the sexually offending nature, there is always shock and dismay but later something happens which is worse then all that- DENIAL. Especially when the sexual offence is committed by someone you know. Someone who commands respect, trust, somebody whom you look up to. So you struggle to accept that somebody like that could stoop so low and inflict upon you such trauma.

A sexual offence is a breach of trust, it sends shock waves not just to the victim or survivor but also it damages their family and does irreparable abrasion to the society. Living in denial that something untoward happened and shrugging it off as an one time incident is not a way to live with it and moving on; it is living in denial.

Knowing something gravely wrong has happened or being administered and doing nothing about it and discouraging somebody from making it matter of concern and deliberation; is again living in denial.

Blaming the actions to alcohol or substance abuse or age of the accused or clothing of the abused; is living in denial. Assuming that the police wont support the victim/survivor of sexual abuse; is living in denial. Thinking and getting discouraged that the judicial battle is a long haul and you may not live to see justice; is living in denial.

Funny, isn’t it. How we follow a pattern that over the years and eons has systematically encouraged, supported and perpetrated sexual violence. Only because we are all LIVING IN DENIAL. So how long do you plan to live in denial.

Even fame cannot protect a woman

Yes, even being famous cannot protect woman from being humiliated and scarred. I’m writing about an established actress in the Malayalam film industry. Incidentally, there is news that there is a gang of such men who have been sexually abusing famous women. They film them in duress while being sexually exploited and then they threaten them and extort money.The actress in news, was the only one who bravely exposed them since she didn’t want to encourage them any further after what they did to her. There have been others who have been manipulated by these people in the past.

Funnily the news channels- print and broadcast have gone berserk over the news of the famous South Indian Actress being abducted and sexually assaulted in broad daylight. Sadly the actress, her picture and all that happened to her is all out in the newspaper. And I don’t think that this will help her or her family find any solace.

It is this disturbing news that brings me to think about the perpetrators, five of them identified. She knew them, since one of them was her driver. Scary isn’t it. Now we cant even trust the drivers, chauffeurs, top servants, delivery boys and I don’t know who else. I wonder, if this incident will also be examined and debated by people in the media like the Nirbhaya tragedy.

Here is a woman who is happy, positive, assertive and successful and this is something some people simply cannot handle. And in this case, they felt that by abusing her and recording it and threatening her with exposing the film would pressurise her to release money so that she wouldn’t want to be publicly shamed.

Even today perpetrators think that women are deterred by fear of law, fear of shaming themselves and their families. But I appreciate the courage of this lady to come out and shaming these criminals instead of falling in the trappings of fear and ostracisation from the society.